The same number of us anticipated, Barack and Michelle (or “Michael” as he incidentally calls her in broad daylight) are finishing their marriage now that they are finished assaulting and ravaging our nation.

As per Reuters, Michelle Obama authoritatively petitioned for separate Saturday evening in the wake of discussion encompassing their girl Malia’s capture for weed ownership.

It’s indistinct why she (he?) has chosen to end the marriage, however sources near the Obamas guarantee that the two have been “on the stones” for a considerable length of time and have just remained together on the grounds that a separation would have harmed the previous “President” politically.

“Barry and Michelle battle a great deal in secret,” the family companion disclosed to Ebony Magazine manager LaShaun Smith. “They consented to stick it out until the point that his last term was up yet now she’s prepared to proceed onward with her life. She doesn’t feel like she can be who she truly is with him.”

“Points of interest of the separation are as yet being arranged, yet it is estimated that Sasha Obama, who is as yet a minor, will be living with her grandma at any rate amid the progress – an odd setup, yet everything is bizarre with regards to the previous “President” and “First Lady.”

Strikingly, Michelle Obama was not with her better half at his last three golf get-away stops.

We have contacted the Obamas for an announcement, however got no answer.